Here I sit
on this rugged old armchair I picked up
at a yard sale last weekend.
The perfect finishing touch
to my rugged old apartment.
A bottle of cheap whiskey is cradled in my lap
and I listen to the whines of the in-between stations
on the radio.
I know I shouldn’t. Everything is telling me
But the thought of the poison
seeping through my veins is making me euphoric.
I am dehydrated. I’m salivating, looking at the
rim of this bottle, the condensation
running down to my fingers.
I’ve had enough. My mind is telling me
My hand reaches for my feather and
knocks over the bottle,
spilling ink on the glass coffee table.
And there it is. That euphoria I’ve been craving.
I reach out, ten fingers ready.
I dip in and get my fingers wet, spreading
the ink on the table. Forming words
My blood is rushing. They told me this
would happen, even on my first time back.
My first drink after years of AA meetings,
and God does it feel good.
I’m just gonna leave this for you to find whenever. Maybe you’ll find it tomorrow. Maybe you’ll find it a long time from now.
Maybe hopefully you’ll smile when you read this, because your smile is beautiful. You make me happy because when you smile it lights you up. Your whole face smiles. Your eyes smile and its the most beautiful thing. And so when you smile, you make me smile, and that is why I love making you smile. You’re a really pretty girl, and when you’re happy and smiling, you’re twice as beautiful.
Rewind. Five months back from today. We were laying on my couch together, the day after my birthday - the day after our first kiss. Something was on tv, but I couldn’t tell you what because I was so absorbed - so hypnotized by you. Your beauty. Your smile. Your eyes. Your lips, Your soft hands embracing mine (isn’t it nice dating a writer? :) lucky you). And so I looked up into your beautiful eyes and asked you to be my girlfriend. And there it was again.
I want you to know and never forget that I love you and care about you more than anything in the world, so don’t ever think that you’re bothering me. I love when you text me. I love when you call me. I love when you write me notes. I love everything that you do. I love everything about you.
I love you.
“I spoke to myself in the mirror for a while tonight, and I made a promise
that I would never fuck up having you in my life, and to be honest
I think you’re my favorite girl I’ve ever met.”
This is Jessica, my girlfriend and my best friend. I am absolutely crazy in love with this girl. Tell the world. She consumes my mind every second of every day. I’m so grateful and consider myself very lucky to have her in my life. Her smile, her eyes, her voice, her laugh, and everything she does. She’s so perfect.
they lead me in
With each blink -
you capture me
and consume me,
bringing me closer
into this love
Submit some of your stuff I wanna read some poetry. If its good I’ll publish it.
maybe i’ll start another secondary blog for it and if you want to you can follow that blog to read about sexual encounters and if not then just don’t follow it no harm done. sound like a plan?